Let me lay here


But not lost


But not defeated

Let me lay here

For just a moment

Cover me up with a blanket

Of ice and snow

Let me breathe and remember

The sound of rain

In my ears

The touch of raindrops

On my face

The warmth of laughter

In my chest

I will rise again

To love again

But until the snow melts

Let me lay here — quiet

Until the snow melts

Stay by my side — quiet


My heart grows restless

Wondering when I will hold You

My eyes tire from not blinking

Lest I miss seeing You

My ears hurt from straining

To hear Your voice

I look up and

I tell myself

Hush dear soul

This is a game of eternities

A dance of forever

If not the breath in

The breath out

If not today


If not this lifetime

The next

For right now—

I am enough


How do I reconcile

The darkness under the lamp

How do I offer

The holy water murky with mud

Do I notice

My cup is broken, many times over

Can I tell

My hands are not always steady

Do I weigh my soul

In a balance, against my actions

Do the sins

Weigh heavy, and sink the scale

Today I sit

And be silent in my presence

Lower my head

And my ego and my mind

Count every infraction

Like the beads on the rosary

Mend my cup

With flakes of gold

Let the mud settle

I can see my reflection

Accountable, but forgiven

Made whole

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