You hide them well

In the deep oceans of your heart

Like buried treasure

Precious

Sometimes they rise up

Fighting to escape

You battle right back

And drown them again

But in rare moments

The locks give way

The storms overwhelm

The pearls rise up

In all their glory

Laden heavy with pain

One at a time

Like the sigh of the shell

Pried open

Brilliant pearls

Flow slowly gently

As if wanting to wash away

The scars

Each one brighter than the one before

Pearls

You wear them well

So Precious

Go on

Wear them proudly

Wear them unafraid

I stand guard

Silence hangs heavy here
Like a corpse on the tree branch
Like air laden with tears
Like my grandfather’s picture on the wall
Like the rosary on my wrist
Like my head in shame
Like my feet lost on the way
Speak
So it breaks
Set me free

When you lay me down to rest

Don’t put me in a dark casket

Lay me on a pile of wood

Light the flame and step far back

Let me burn down to the bone

Ashes left, as I go home

Don’t mark the spot or leave a stone

Let the grass grow, fed by my bone

Let wildflowers grow carelessly

Let there be room for just one more

Turn around and walk away

I will walk right next to you

What you burnt was never me

I am in the reflection you see

Don’t put me in an urn or box

Or hang me around your neck in locks

Know me in the pause of your breath

Feel me in the beat of your heart

I am not behind a door

I am you and then some more

The sun sets over the ocean

Pours its fire into my wine cup

Red as blood and raging

Barely contained

Now it looks at me as if teasing

Daring me to defy

The urge to lift up to my lips

And drink and drown fast

As strong as the temptation

To reach oblivion quick

Just as strong a wish

To make the journey last

From the first drop to the last

Make each one count

The thrill of walking on the edge

Before taking the plunge into the abyss

So I look back at my cup

The challenge is so on

With a twinkle in my eye

Let’s start a slow dance

Let me hold you in my hands

Feel your fire against my skin

Let me slowly twirl you

See the sparkle in your eyes

As I lift you to my lips

Let me feel you close your eyes

In anticipation hold your breath

To match my own desire

The first drop is the kiss

And then the fire turns into flames

Until the last drop is the sigh

Of the ashes that remain

The sun has long gone home

And the air is very quiet

A gentle breeze takes pity

Carries me safely home

Do the petals of a cherry blossom

When the pageantry is done

Feel lost as they fall away

Without direction or home

Does the little urchin feel it

On the vast ocean floor

Carried by the currents

Not knowing which way to turn

The waves that keep coming

Wiping out my words

And going back

Must feel it real strong

For sure, the spark of fire

That leapt off the flame

Feels it, as it takes off

Into the dark unknown

I know I too feel lost at times

Round and round I go

Sometimes wanting to break off

And other times wanting to give in

But one means a free fall

And the other a collision course

Do I really want to find

A way that leads home

Or do I want to just wander

Maybe home I have none

So meet me at the corner

Of holding on and letting go

Bring me my cup of wine

And let it kiss me real slow

Then put your hands on my eyes

And turn me three around

And set me back into my whirling

Lost and happy drunk

I choose to kneel before You

I choose to say Your name

I choose to seek You in the crowd

You don’t have to do the same

I want to give of myself

To serve You and sit low

I want to be the seeker

You don’t have to though

I hope to be Your shadow

Connected but never one

I hope to be the blades of grass

That You always walk on

I want to keep You in my sight

From a far enough distance

I happily give you all that’s mine

And alone I can dance

It is with pride that I adore You

Your great stories I love to sing

But much as I adore You

You owe me not a thing

I am the moss growing in Your shade

The leaf falling off Your branch

The grain of sand on Your shore

The cloud floating along Your blue sky

The river flowing down Your mountain

The drunk wandering Your earth

Call me a fool or call me insane

Just keep me close

So my illusion remains

I am Yours

Most days I am ecstatic

In the embrace of a kind word

The seduction of a smile

The tease of a banter

The joy of a conversation

The thrill of a shared laugh

But sometimes like a thief

A doubt sneaks in

In a careless cold moment

I can’t help but wonder

What if they are just being nice

Being kind

Being tolerant

Or worse, pitying

And throwing morsels of themselves

At me

For me to pounce on

Like a hungry stray

What if they are

Just being charitable

Looking down as if at a beggar

A beggar drunk and lost

Tattered and broken

Broken and without soul

And they throw a penny of a word

As if their good deed of the day

I am the beggar in that moment

A moment of uncertainty

Insecurity

Not sure I know why

Or even want to know

Because knowing needs questioning

Questioning orders going back

Going back demands reliving

Reliving commands silence

And silence eludes me

Do you sometimes feel inadequate

Undeserving and unwanted

Do you stop and wonder why

Life as is, was granted

Do you build walls around you

And sit alone in shame

Wondering if you yourself

Are the very one to blame

Do you hold all your secrets

Close to your own heart

So no one really knows you

No one gets a start

Are you broken and defective

Wicked but also shy

A flawed jagged shard of glass

Well blessedly — so am I

So come, walk beside me

And grab your cup of wine

Let’s drink to The maker

Yours and mine

Let’s agree He slipped up

Or maybe planned it all

Let Him be amused

As we edge the waterfall

If I go to the great mountain

Climb just enough high

Find just the right spot

With just the right view

The perfect warm sun

With the perfect cool breeze

The fragrance of the lilies around me

As the air settles in a hush

Sit down just so

And close my eyes slowly

And take one deep breath

Hold it in just a second longer

That pause right there

Is enough

Except I can be there right now

On the side of the road

In the swirls of murky air

With the buzzing of humanity around

Cloudy dark skies

Sweltering heat

The air hangs heavy

I can still close my eyes

Take one deep breath

Hold it a moment longer

And then that pause

Is enough

I have arrived

Home again