Giving you to you

You look at me with such love

And admiration in your eyes

You think that I am special

And you believe that I am wise

You take my word for granted

And follow what I say

You don’t refute my point

Easily you sway

How do I tell you gently

I am no matter of pride

I have my share of flaws

And there is darkness inside

So know this as you look at me

And see, what you think, is me

I am not who you think I am

You see who you are meant to be

To be still

I watch the rushing waterfall

Racing down the mountain

I gaze upon the dancing waves

As if a massive fountain

I marvel at the dancing flames

Wondering where is their beat

I feel the rush of the winds

Running on invisible feet

In their rushing movement

I see a steady anchor

In their frenzied dancing

I realize a calm center

I wonder then for myself

As I catch a hazy reflection

To be still and yet be moving

Would be my perfection

Just as there is a valley

Between each mountain peak

What if the silence that eludes me

Lies in the words I speak


Boundaries and definitions

Shapes and forms

What if I do not fit

What if I don’t conform

Masks and veils

Shells and shields

What if I don’t cover

What if I just yield

Culture and traditions

Rituals and prayers

What if I don’t follow

What if I don’t care

Ideas and theories

Notions and beliefs

What if I have my own

What if no grief

Gods and demons

Fallen angels in hell

What if there is none

What if I break the spell

Sacrifice and mercy

Heroes and war

What if I don’t want

Either or

You ask me to sit

Where I once sat

But I am neither this

And I am not that

Are you proud of me

I spent years looking up

Doing my best to be the best

Trying hard, as hard can be

To live up to what you expect

I strove endlessly to reach a goal

That I had no part in setting

I was willing to spill my blood

Though I was not the one betting

I held out my hand for comfort

But was led down a path not mine

By the time I knew what I wanted

I was deep in the coal mine

I learnt to say the right things

I climbed the ladder’s height

I met your definition of good

I fought a fair fight

When hurt I looked for comfort

Instead was told to be brave

I have learnt to be a warrior

My knees no more cave

When I wanted to speak my mind

I was told to be quiet

I have learnt to remain silent

Though my thoughts are a riot

I have had moments of anguish

When tears have threatened to bleed

But I have learnt it is much better

To laugh, than be pitied

As the flowers fold in to rest

I look up silently

My eyes hold my question

Are You proud of me?


The farther I walk

The quieter it gets

Time slows down

Nothing frets

No worries of morrow

Or yester’s regrets

No destination to reach

No inner threats

No putting on shows

No wagers no bets

I find a new path

But I don’t know the way

I’ll just keep walking

Let the silence stay

Just This

In my mind’s own eye

Where I can be whoever I want

Make a wish

And have the power to grant

I wish to feel every emotion

A thousandfold more

I can not get enough

Give me the power to soar

Feel the wind on my face

Soar up to the blue sky

The thrill of the flight

How high is too high

The want to laugh so hard

Until the tears start to fall

Feeling warm to my core

No fear at all

I want to hold fire

Get burnt down to nothing

A glance, or a word

Can do the same thing

Bursting with brilliance

I want to see the rainbows

Each color so vivid

Each ember that glows

Like the warm ray of sunshine

that each snowflake wants to kiss

I want to be everything

Forever, just this


I am struck by the irony

Of wanting to belong

And yet the want to be free

Is equally strong

I am struck by the irony

Of wanting to succeed

And yet there is a charm

In being, with no need

I am struck by the irony

Of the boy rushing to be man

And yet the adult

Longs to be a child again

I am struck by the irony

Of the horizon’s feat

defined by the meeting of two

That could really never meet

I am struck by the irony

Of His presence all around

And yet the constant search

For One who can’t be found

I am struck by the irony

Of silence being wise

But words are the essence

Of me with no disguise

If You are struck by the irony

Of how much I have to say

Your wisdom is in your silence

A fool, let me stay

A blessing

May you fall and fall hard

And feel no one cares

And when down and low you sit

May you find your lost prayers

May you fail and fail miserably

At something you tried hard

And then fall into a slumber

May you dream a new start

May your heart get broken

At least a million times within

And with each painful break

May you learn to let the light in

May you feel the pangs of loss

Of a loved one very dear

And when tears of grief come

May they wash away your fear

May you burn up in jealousy

Consumed by your desire

In that moment of wanting

May you learn about fire

May you lose a hard fought fight

And be made to feel small

But in that moment of dejection

May you learn to walk tall

May you get lost on your way

And wander around alone

And when your are ready to give up

May a friend take you home

It is simple

We make life so complicated

Tangle all the thread

Pick the thorns so carefully

To make our own bed

We think not only for ourself

But for the other too

We don’t quite get our actions

But plan what others should do

We try to say the right thing

And do what should be nice

When our heart is all caught up

Clamped in a death like vice

The mind says one thing

But the heart something else

The confusion drives us crazy

To whom do we confess

But if we sit still long enough

And let the waves settle down

There is clarity so perfect

Like the diamond in the crown

It really is a simple question

Beyond the how and why

Walking in these tangled webs

Who is in my I

A wish

I wish you a long and happy life

Not measured in the usual way

Of minutes hours days and years

But in moments filled with play

Each moment stretched to eternity

When filled with joy and wonder

The perfect awe of how it feels

To enjoy the rain with the thunder

May you live each moment

As if it were fresh and new

May you be able to walk the path

Followed by just a few

Beyond the walking round in circles

Of the where and why and how

May you arrive with each step

And find your destiny in the now

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