When I am gone forever

Light my pyre with a smile

Lay my words to rest with me

Break your silence for a while

Hold a light to the logs

Watch a spark burst into flame

Look around and find friends

No regrets and no blame

As the fire burns up bright

Lights up the night sky aglow

Walk around me one more time

And then gently let me go

Stand around a little longer

Watch the flames burn down at last

Down to embers breathing slow

Like a storm sky overcast

And then the final light goes out

The heat is gone for ever

We were here and then we were not

Feel a lifeline finally sever

Pick up a fistful of my ashes

Scatter the star dust at your feet

Let me lay in final silence

Where my heart found it’s beat

But until then, find me close

Laugh with me and hope you see

In the Now of our lives

You light the fire up in me

Your wisdom is Your being

You go about silently

You make the sun rise

And the earth turn quietly

You make the eagles fly

You make the mountains rise

You make waters still

No rush no surprise

You command the stars shine

You make dew drops glow

You make flower fields bloom

You put on a gentle show

Your silence lives in trees

Gnarled but standing tall

Weathered the winds of time

No fear of a fall

But today break your silence

The storm in me is loud

Go on speak in thunder

The lightening in the cloud

I am standing in the rain

Looking up to you

Go on and drench me

But talk to me too

Answer all my whys

And the why nots as well

I am pulling hard on the rope

Of Your temple bell

I seek answers to my questions

I have but one desire

Speak to me today

I want to touch fire

Much as I enjoy

The raging storm in me

The never ending quest

To be all that I can be

Much as I love

The fire in me that burns

Consumes me completely

Whirling with my turns

Lend me your mind

So I may know the brilliance

Of a thought that is created

With intent and resilience

Lend me your heart

So I may know the devotion

That is pure and untainted

Deep as the ocean

Lend me your soul

So I may meet the sages

Of wisdom and reason

That transcend the ages

Lend me your eyes

So I may see the sunrise

In all its glory

Even as the star dies

Lend me your bones

That can carry all the weight

Never falter or bow

To the vagaries of fate

Lend me all of you

For a moment, I want to be

The stillness and silence

That forever eludes me

Words are my shield

My armor my sword

Words are me

Of my own accord

I breathe them, I see them

I dream them as well

I live them with faith

In them I dwell

When the heart soars high

Then the words are a song

Of love and life

I do belong

But when in doubt

My words unsteady

Searching all over

Not quite ready

Words spoken in sad times

With gentle care

Held close and guarded

In torn despair

And then more words

For humble gratitude

Warm the heart

Like the soul’s food

All my life

I learnt to speak

The words just right

As meant to be

So why is it when I see You

My rosary shatters

My words abandon me

When it really matters

If you scream at me

Will I listen better?

If you call me names

Will I pay more attention?

If you shut me out

Will I repent more?

If you bang the doors

Will I agree?

I don’t want to be right or wrong

I don’t want to be hurt or loved

Neither admired nor despised

Neither taken nor forsaken

I Just want to be…

Does the sun set in anguished despair

Or does it know in its heart it will rise again

Do the dark skies get melancholy

Or do they know they will light up again

I woke up hungover

And decided for sure

That today is the day

This is it, no more

No more going to the temple

No begging for grace

No more wanting mercy

No more fighting the case

I leave the wine house

I slowly walk away

Am I still complete

Be it, as it may

Let me watch You now

I quietly jeer

Look for me all over

Far and near

Miss me and want me

Long for me a little

Feel what I feel

Left standing in the middle

You may be all knowing

All present all power

But you still need me

Like the rain needs the flower

Like the sun needs the moon

And the ocean needs the wave

The winemaker his drunk

God needs His knave

I bring down my cup

Yes I do dare

The wine needs me more

I loudly declare

And that is when I hear

Your smile loud and pure

Don’t need to say a word

I read Your mind for sure

The whole is complete

No matter what’s taken

The whole can always give

To the fallen forsaken

The whole needs nothing

Wants nothing at all

Is whole in itself

Can never fall

I walk back slowly

To the temple door

Hold my cup out

And beg for some more

Afraid of the silence

If my mind clears up

Go on winemaker

Fill me my cup

Drunk and chastesized

Part of the whole

I whirl in my madness

Go on, laugh dear soul

I must be lucky

Or extra blessed

Very special

I self profess

I can wear a heart

On my sleeve

Share my joy

Give and receive

It gets broken

Quite easily

I find another

No big deal

I find it easy

To fall in love

With anyone

Sent from above

Give my heart

Plucked from the chest

Totally fragile

Yes you guessed

Breaks like glass

Shatters fast

Replaced right away

Oh so fast

I carry hearts

In my eyes

Searching for love

No disguise

Goes unsaid

They break in tears

But quickly replaced

With no fears

I speak my heart

In my word

Listen for echoes

If I am heard

Silence comes

Loud as thunder

Breaks my heart

No wonder

But I find more words

And a new heart

Onward and forward

I have a new start

Blessed for sure

As I don’t die

With each heartbreak

I just sigh

Give myself a moment

Feel the pain

Move on

A new heart again

I wear masks

Too many to name

Some by choice

Others just came

By birth or family

Put on without consent

No one gave

An option to dissent

Each mask came

With a script of its own

It did not ask

It had to be worn

The longer I wore

The more they merged

Became a part of me

Harder to purge

And then came the markets

Of masks even more

So many choices

Hard to keep score

I picked out some others

Radiant and bright

Empowered by choice

It felt just right

I gathered quite a collection

As the journey went on

I am not sure what I look like

If the masks were all gone

I think there were times

I felt my face burn

Or maybe it was a mask

Taking its turn

There has been a mask

For each possible need

Name it and claim it

Perfect indeed

The needs of hunger

The mask of breadmaker

The needs of security

The mask of caretaker

The needs of the body

The mask of a mate

The needs of the mind

The mask of debate

The needs of belonging

The masks of a nation

The needs of a God

The mask of religion

The needs of giving

The mask of a healer

The needs of protecting

The mask of a mother

The needs of bonding

The mask of a confidante

The needs of tradition

The mask of the family plant

The needs of esteem

The mask of profession

The needs of respect

The mask of parental session

But now I face

A different kind of need

I search all over

With longing indeed

I wonder why

When all needs are met

Why now a search

As if the need to pay a debt

For the one mask to cover

My last need unseeded

My longing to be wanted

My need to be needed

I peel off my masks

Lay them down one by one

Look into the mirror

Need to know what has become

Of me underneath

The years of hiding

Come out come out

I hear a voice chiding

Face the needs

I still have left

No more masks

No more theft

I need to learn

To know who I am

I am enough

No more a sham

I need to know

I am good even broken

I am the silence

Of words unspoken

If I could choose the words

To say all I had to say

And write them all out

Before they fade away

I would write with fervor

So I do not miss out

All the frivolous details

Pouring my heart out

My words would probably fall

Over each other a bit

Trying to race each other

So each one shall be writ

Writing the words out

Would be baring the mind

The heart and the soul

Hoping the reader will be kind

Some words would be loud

Like the storm in me

Others just a whisper

Written ever so quietly

I could write and not be heard

Or heard but not seen

Or I could live in the space

That lives in between

The space between the words

Is where I truly belong

So the words can fade away

If I said something wrong

So I write my words in sand

And watch the waves wash ashore

Leaving silence behind

I shall then write some more